Maybe if I sit here with my trusty black 5 gallon bottle, regurgitating everything up back into my bottle, It'll over fill? but I've been waiting, through your heart, through his end, through the start of new hopes that I've had since I was young, and it just seems to fill and fill, through her misunderstandings, judgments and trading. It fills and fills but for the first time I'm trying to spill some out. and Ive thrown it all in there too many times, it doesn't even want to come spilling over anymore, but I'm reaching the brim, but i dont even feel the weight anymore, my fingers are numb, and the handle is cracking, but there's no one there but me and my trusty 5 gallon black bottle.

FROM DAY ONE I TALKED ABOUT GETTING OUT BUT NOT FORGETTINGALL MY WORST FEARS ARE LETTING OUT WHY PUT A NEW ADDRESS  ON THE SAME OLD LONELYNESS WHEN BREATHING JUST PASSSES THE TIME UNTIL WE GET OLD AND DIE NOW BREATHING IS A WASTE OF BREATHE AND LIVEING JUST A WASTE OF DEATH AND WHY PUT A NEW ADDRESS ON THE SAME OLD LONELYNESS CUASE THIS IS YOU AND ME UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT

Chapter One

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You end up leaving someone you don't love... for someone you might have loved a long time ago. Only to find out that they would just use you for their own sick purposes.

The year was 2010, when she finally realized that "Mr Sexy" just wanted to use her for sex. everytime he'd come over they'd lock jaws but that didn't mean she wanted to have sexual intercourse with him. He assumed, like most men. And in his state of mind, the peer pressure from his  so called friends led him to believe that she wanted the same thing. He made her feel cheap...and not just that, the little shithead knew he had a girlfriend and yet lied to her when she asked him. I know her very well, she wouldn't have locked jaws if he had told her the truth.

We both knew him back then...he wasn't that way. Only when it seemed like she didn't feel the same way he felt did he change his life...and not tor the better. He started drinking, started hanging out with "friends" that are BAD influences. Then he failed grade 10, she wasn't in his life anymore. He had changed with the times. yet, she remained the same. She still is until this day.

Losing your head

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The man I love does not want me to love him.
his actions do not match his words.
I dont know how he weasled himself under my skin.
He's far from perfect. He's raw and uneducated. He's tacky and sometimes heartless.
He's funny, loyal, and broken.
He has consumed me.
I love him without reason, it makes him uncomfortable.
I wish I could stop my heart from wanting more.
I wish my dreams did not insist on him.
I do not know how to be without him...
The man I love has said 'no thank you'
His words have left me broken

ich brauche 3 ding zum leben:
1. ein kissen
2.die sonne
3. DICH
das kissen für die nacht, die sonne für den tag, und dich für immer.

nice meeting you...dont be sad...life is always like that...it keeps on stomping on you and yuo cant do anything...as they say, even the people with the kindest heart will get hurt and the world has no responsibilty to protect you, even if you have a good heart or your nice...everyone in this world world gets hurt..we have to learn that we shouldnt hold love in our hands, for we may not find the strength to let ig go, if it decides to leave, we should only embrace its warmth and glow while it last and freely open our arms when its time to say goodbye...we should listen to the echoes of heart and learn to let go if it doesnt last...for destiny is has its own reasons..and its our job to find it out...

why is it when you miss and person so much that your heart is ready to disintegrate....you will suddenly heart a sad on the radio...

its our evaluation day and im a bit scared...its because most of us dont really know how to pacify a customer plus that he's already giving up...

hahah im not doing anything ryt now and im listening to the song confessions by usher...(my friend requested it but i dont like the song)...piz!



next song, art of love by jordin sparks...

My life, spirals downwards everyday and it dosen't help that my family and friends do NOT support me. They drive me crazy, they think I am happy because I have a boyfriend. Get a F**kin clue you guys. My life sucks, because of you.

Pwede bang mangarap na minsan ay makita kang muli
Gusto ko lang pagbigyan ang puso kong nanabik
Pwede ba sa dating tagpuan
Mahawakan ang iyong kamay
Hindi naman siguro kasalanan
Dahil ito ang nararamdaman

what a day..just got here at the office....and im not doing anything...chillin out...this morning was the same routine we do for the last 2weeks...go home together...take the bus infront of stock exchange plaza...drop off at the chowking along gil puyat then take the lrt...ill drop off at the r.papa station while he does it at the last station, mcu station..its has been the same routine for the last 2weeks..the last 2weeks that i started to fall for him...

I’m saying sorry in advance
Cos this won’t always go to plan
Though we don’t mean to take our love for granted
It’s in our nature to forget what matters
How when the going is getting tough
And we’re all about giving up
Things that we never thought we’d gonna say, gonna say them
Things that we never thought we’d play, gonna play them
It ain’t perfect, but it’s worth it
And it’s always getting better
It’s gonna take some time to get it right

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well... uhhh.... i need some help on getting this 1 girl i love and you could say we're friends

will you waste away with me? its ok if you dont know me

its been a shitty day... i wish i knew alot more people like me

i wish life came with a rule book....

Hey, 

I Can make your bed rock (Young Money)
I Can make your bed rock girl
Kane is in the building nigga
I Can make your bed rock
I Can make your bed rock

[Verse 1: Lil Wayne]
She got that good good, she Michael Jackson bad
I'm attracted to her with her attractive ass
And now we murderers, because we kill time
I knock her lights out and she still shine
I hate to see her go, but I'd love to watch her leave
But I keep her runnin' back and forth like a soccer team
Cold as a winter day, hot as a summer's eve
Young Money thieves, steal your hearts with ease

[Verse 2: Gudda Gudda]
I like the way you walkin' if you walkin' my way
I'm that red bull, now let's fly away
Let's buy a place with all kinds of space
I'll let you be the judge and I'm the case
I'm Gudda Gudda, I putta other
I see me with her, no stevie Wonder
She don't even wonder, cause she know she bad
And I got her nigga, grocery bags

[Chorus: Lloyd]
Okay, ooohhh baby
I be stuck to you like glue baby
Wanna spend it all on you baby
My room is the g-spot
Call me Mr. Flinstone
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock girl
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock

[Verse 3: Nicki Minaj]
Okay I get it let me think I guess it's my turn
Maybe it's time to put this pussy when your side burns
He say I'm bad, he probably right
He pressin' me like button downs on a friday night (Ha ha ha)
I'm so pretty like, be on my pedal bike
Be on my low scrunch
Be on my egg and whites
He say nicki don't stop you the bestest
And I just be coming off the top as bestest

[Verse 4: Drake]
I love your sushi roll, hotter than wasabi
I race for your love, shake and bake, ricky bobby
I'm at the W but I can't meet you in the lobby
Girl I gotta watch my back cause I'm not just anybody
I see them standing in line, just to get beside her
I let her see the aston or let the rest surprise her
That's when we disappear, you need GPS to find her
Oh that was your girl, I thought I recognized her

[Chorus: Lloyd]
Okay, ooohhh baby
I be stuck to you like glue baby
Wanna spend it all on you baby
My room is the g-spot
Call me Mr. Flinstone
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock girl
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock

[Verse 5: Tyga]
She like tannin', I like stayin' in
She like romancin', I like rollin' with friends
She said I'm caged in, I think her conscios is
She watchin' that oxygen, I'm watchin' ESPN
But when that show ends, she all in my skin lotion
No emotions, roller coasting like back, forth, hold it (Hold it [x4])
She pause like it's for posters and I poke like I'm supposed to
Take this photo if you for me, she said don't you ever show this
I'm too loyal and too focused, to be losing and be hopeless
When I spoke this, she rejoiced it
Said your words get me open, so I closed it
Where your clothes is, I'm only loving for the moment

[Verse 6: Jae Millz]
She ain't got a man but she's not alone
Miss independent yea she got her own
Hey gorgoues, umm, I mean flawless, well
That's what you are, how I see it, this how I call it
Yea, look at how she walk, who knew she know she bad
Do your thang baby, I ain't even mad
And I ain't leaving fast, I'm a stay a while
Hold your head chris, I'm a take her down

[Chorus: Lloyd]
Okay, ooohhh baby
I be stuck to you like glue baby
Wanna spend it all on you baby
My room is the g-spot
Call me Mr. Flinstone
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock girl
I can make your bedrock
I can make your bedrock

[Outro: Lil Wayne & Lloyd]
T Streets
Mack Maine
Jae Millz
Tyga
Drizzy Drake
Nicki Minaj
Hey Shanell
And Young Llyod
It's Young Mula Baby