it hurts like hell

Der Weg Zurück                                    - Jeremy D. Thralls -

Dort steh ich nun am Abgrund,
Die Füße am Rand,
Bereit zu springen.
Vernehme entfernt Stimmen,
Die ich nicht verstehe,
Höre leise Worte,
Ohne eine Bedeutung zu erkennen.
Noch zögere ich und denke nach.
Ich lehne mich nach vorne,
Spüre die Dunkelheit und Kälte auf meinem Gesicht.
Doch ich spüre etwas an meiner Schulter,
Zieht mich, in deutlicher Zuneigung,
Wieder auf die Füße und kriecht in Richtung Brust.
Ich spüre Wärme, die mich umhüllt,
Zieht mich in eine Umarmung,
Wärmt mich auf und entfernt mich vom Abgrund.
Ich sehe ein letztes Mal zurück.
Und frage mich, warum...
Letzlich erkenne ich:
Was mich dort rettete,
So warm und anschmiegsam,
Es ist die Liebe.

While walking through a social site 2go
i collected a bright red rose
all the petals intact n sparkling
my lyf was hopeless n
engulfed in darkness
remorseful n full of regrets why the world was unfair
but the moment i sniffed the scent wit my eyes closed
i got new strength
i got new love i would stick to
i got true love in my heart
i got new hope that yes there is mo in life
the bright red rose had changed ma life


many roses always wither away
wen the season changes
but my bright red rose
never wither away
because it is deeply rooted in my heart.

one night of being with you

Her mysterious,fascinating face,

Is it just me or are you lonely too?  I sometimes feel so alone, even when he is at home.  The time passes by as we drift apart, leaving an empty spot in my heart.  Together we sit and stare at the box, me close to his body but far from his thoughts.  How did we get here in this place so cold, for once he did love me this I know.

soon arranged

You give me reason to live true the night

When You Said " I Love Somebody Else "

LOVE
THE WAY YOU ARE
 THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME..
IT MAKES MY HEART STOP BUT REGAURDLESS OF ALL OF THIS YOU BRING ME PAIN
PAIN SO DEEP INSIDE OF ME THAT IT BRINGS THE STRONGEST EMOTIONS OUT OF ME
EMOTIONS OF HATE JELOUSY AND MUCH MORE
JELOUSY IS KILLING ME INSIDE
ITS MAKEING ME NOT BE MYSELF
BECAUSE IVE NEVER EVER HAD THESE KINDA EMOTIONS IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH HATE
IT MAKES ME WANT TO DIE
DIE BECAUSE NOT MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME IS TELLING ME THAT IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH
AND THAT KILLS ME
JUST TO THINK THAT YOU COULD LEAVE ME
BECAUSE ITS SO EASY FOR YOU TO WALK AWAY WALK AWAY FROM SOMEONE LIKE ME
SOMEONE THAT IS NO GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
AND I WISH I WAS
I KEEP TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT I AM
BUT ITS USELESS
I WANT ALL THIS PAIN TO GO AWAY
ALL THE PAIN THAT I FEEL WHEN I KNOW UR NOT WITH ME
ITS STUPID IM STUPID
HOW COULD YOU EVER WANT SOME LIKE ME
SOMEONE NOT AS PRETTY AS THEM
SOMEONE THT DOESNT DESERVE YOU BC IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH
I NEVER WIILL BE
ITS LIKE EVERYTHING INSIDE ME IS DIEING
SLOWLY PAINFULY
TEARS OF BLOOD RUN DOWN MY FACE
AND THERES NO LIFE IN ME
NO HOPE NOTHING
NOT EVEN PAIN
BECAUSE IVE HURT SO MUCH SO MUCH THAT ITS LIKE ITS NOT EVEN THERE
PAIN

As the moon beams tonight,
I am thinking different words to write.
Pardon me for the title and the rest,
I swear I did try my very best.
Thinking about our story,
For in my life love happens very rarely
Of all that we've been through the past days.
I really didn't expect it would be like this.
I hope you take good care of yourself always.
Be healthy and maintain your lovely face.
Continue to achieve your goals and aspirations.
Get some rest and a deserving inspiration.
Even if we are a thousand miles apart,
Forever shall I hold you in my heart.
If we really are for each other,
Let serendipity judge the limit of our sweet forever.
I am very thankful that I've met you and your smile,
It brightened up my life even just for a while.
And I know our bond cannot be cut even by the sharpest knife,
This vow, I will remember you for the rest of my life.

why am i here?
am i here for you.
do i have a purpose?
is it to keep you safe.
do i have a meaning?
it makes no difference.
im useless,
and everyone knows that.
because they all tell me.
slamming doors,
screaming words.
i hear this all the time.
nothing ever pleasant.
the only pleasant thing i hear or ever feel,
is you.
i hear you say,i love you.
those sweet words,
mean everything to me.
i feel you touch my fragile skin.
its the gentle caring touch,
i long for.
after feeling nothing but alone
and scared,i miss you.
youre not always here
to protect me of what i fear.
him.
i need you more than ever
when he does this.
i need you,
and i need your protection.
and i only want your love
and caring for me.
i need you here with me.
i cry and i whisper to you
each and everytime.
asking for you to protect me,
to feel you arms wrap
around me,
telling me you love me.
i cannot defend myself
against him.
hes strong,hes hateful,
and hes drunk.
he remembers none of it.
but i sure do.
i remember everytime,
every word,
every scream.
i remember how he hates me.
how he treats me.
i want to go away,
i have no purpose,
no meaning.
i might as well have no name.
so kill me now,
hide my lifeless body.
get away with murder and
your life goes on.
i only wish,
it were that easy.

why wont i just die yet?
i have nothing to live for.
i only get tortured.
i get screamed at and
accused for so many things
i never did.
no one believes me,
and no one cares.
they never listen.
im just left hurt in the end.
crying like a little bitch.
them all laughing at me,
and kicking me while im down.
but i still remain strong,
on the outside.
pretend i dont care.
ignore the terrible screams
of painful words.
i keep my head held high....no.
i walk with a slump.
i am depressed.
the one person who puts
me down and tears me apart
from the inside out.
he yells and swings at me,
but never hits me.
alcohol stains his breath.
it makes me high,
just inhaling the smell of it.
he tells me to leave forever.
i wish i could,
but where am i to go?
i have nowhere else,
but a hell hole.
and thats here.
no one understands how i feel,
neevr understanding my pain.
but how could they?
though i tell them,
nothing they can say.
im so miserable,
so unhappy.
always so hurt.
even she takes the bad mans side.
she yells at me,
accusing me of shit.
shit i never did.
he calls me names,
tells me to leave.
he tells me im gone,useless.
he emotionally scars me,
everytime.
and she doesnt even care.
shes on the bad mans side.
and i have to live with him,them.
i ahte it.
i hate it all.
i only wish it would end,
or i could die,
and be gone forever.

if all i do is make you
feel like shit,
dont tell me i make
you happier than anything.
dont smile and tell
me you love me.
when you fight
yourself to not kill me.
dont hold me close to you,when you laugh at my stupid tears.
dont tell me its ok.
when you dont care
and dont want to fix it.
dont carry me,
if you plan to drop me.
you drop me faster
than anything if it were,
i die and youd live.
you wouldnt care enough
to save me.
dont pretend this means
everything to you,
when it actually means nothing.
i hate how you do this.
how you fool yourself.
how you pretend.
i hate how you lie.
i try to hate you,
but i cant.
and you know that too.
you know how i work.
you know what ill do.
so dont pretend anymore.
you have all you plans
played out.
dont pretend you dont just
want me for what i have,
because you do.
it makes you happier to touch me,
than the little things i do.
simple things.
thats what makes me smile.
the little thing you
used to do for me.
at times
you can bo so sweet,
so caring.
but something goes wrong,
you change.
dont tell me its my fault,
when its yours as well.
dont pretend.
dont lie.
dont hate.
i feel like i need you,
but i dont.
so please just dont.
dont do thin to me anymore.

if i had the choice
to save you and it meant
that id die in the preocess,
i would save you.
i wouldnt watch you die.
i couldnt.
after all the things
youve dont to me.
the things you
put me through.
id take my last breath,
saving you.
my last heart beat,
be for you.
my last blink,last tear
id cry for you
while saving you.
it would all be for you.
id save you faster than
i would myself.
im willing to do anything in this world for you.
you wouldnt want it.
but with the lastt breath i draw,
infront of you,
youd hear me say"i love you"
even if it meant nothing
at all to you,
in any way. id tell you.
id want you to know that.
that i still love you.
and that id keep
loving you,
always.
even if you hated me.
wanted nothing to do with me.
i do.
i still love you.