Love Blog

it always wins,the darkness.
it takes me over,
and swallows me whole.
it eats me alive.
and there i am,trapped,
in the dingy darkness  of hell.
its me vs the darkness.
i am small,i am weak,
i cannot defeat this darkness.
it always wins.
i fight,i scream,i fight harder.
nothing ever does any good.
sometimes it hurts,
hurts so much i just let it take me over.
sometimes its painless,
peacefull maybe:
thats the time i ask to be taken.
taken so saitan may
crown me his very queen.
to rull over my darkness.
maybe,if i am lucky
i could meet him.
sometimes...
i think different,
that i dont want to be in
the dark fires of hell.
then i think and laugh.
i like the darkness as much,
as it loves to devour me.
me vs hell vs the darkness.
i am weak,
it makes me stronger.
i am powerless,
it makes me mighty.
fo i am only human here,
there i can be whatever
i want to be.
i dont want to fight it anymore,
it makes me full,makes me whole.
so darkness...
take me over,and swallow me.
id rather be in hell.

when i was happy,
i used to say nice things,
i used to be nice.
i was not mean,and
i was never hatefull.
when i was happy,
i never said things i didnt mean.
i didnt hate those i love most
and who are dear to me.
i never was lazy,
i was never depressed,
like i am now.
i used to be a nicer person.
now....
i am bitter,i am hateful.
i am a screw up, and im a bitch.
i never hated,
i never did things i knew i would regret.
now i hate people,
i hate everything that i even
used to love.
i am hateful towards the
best of my friends,
and even my boyfriend.
and i love him more than anything.
i was never a bitch and i was never bitter.
when i was happy,
i loved,i forgave.
i smiled,i laughed even.
but most of all,
when i was happy,
i loved my life, i was really alive.
now i think im dead inside.

not loving you is
harder than you know.
baby,ive tried not loving you,
and letting go,
but you you will never know
how hard it is to not love you.
youre like a drug:
theres nothing you dont love,
and youre addicting.
your smell.
your voice.
your touch.
your kiss.
its harder than you know,
to let you go.
but hareder to ever forget you.
because eveywhere i ever go,
something always reminds me of you.
no matter what,it never fails.
you make me so crazy
in love with you.
its hardly bearable.
your love is the greatest
thing in the world to have.
better than any possession,
or ammount of money.
so itll be harder than anything,
to ever let you go,
stop loveing you,
and to forget.
because i love you
more than anything,
and i fell for you harder than you know.
so i want you to know...
that you will not be easy
to just let go.

no one can make me,
as happy as you do.
no one makes me,
smile like you do.
no one loves me, like you do.
no one cares about me,
or sees me like you do.
you give me purpose,
like no one else does.
you make me feel.
you made me love again.
before,i was full of hate
and anger.
i felt nothing.
i was numb of this hell of a world.
but you made me feel and love
again like no one else
can,or ever could.
i love you,
with all the love and passion i could ever have.
no one has ever given me a chance,
or the ability
to love like this.
i never want to lose you.
youre different.
thats what i love most.
you are like no one,
ive ever met before.
youre one of a kind.
and i love you for your uniqueness and just being you.

shall i cry these final tears?
they were because of you.
did you know?
of course not...
you dont even care.
you sat back
and watched as i cried.
as i bled.
as i suffered.
you said nothing,
not once did you ask.
not once did you comfort me.
and not once did you
even seem to care.
you took what you wanted,
because you knew i would do
anything in this world for you.
but at one time..you did care,
you did love me,
you did comfort me.
i want you how you used to be,
how we used to be.
but not once now,
do you love me.
not once but twice,
you told me that you loved me.
and that i was to be with you forever.
and it was good enough for me.
its all i ever wanted.
it would be my happily ever after ending,
of this hell story,life i am in.
you are the only one
i want to be with,
who can make that
happy ending come true.
you are.
but not once will you
ever think twice about it.
you wouldnt care.
not once,
not ever.

how can you play me,
and still say you love me?
how can you hurt me,
and still continue to live with yourself?
am i really nothing?
you led me on,
let me to think i was important.
that i was everything to you.
once again,you built me up
and we were strong,
but you always do this:
break me down and push me away.
i should have seen this comming.
you tore me up inside.
you tore my heart out.
at first i gave you my heart,
out of trust and love.
but as i loved you,
i fell for you.
and you tokk advantage.
my heart was yours,
but instead,
you tore it out,
you stomped it,
and watched it bleed and suffer.
but i do thank you for all
the memories and fun times,
and i curse you for
the pain and suffer you also caused.
so how do you do it?
play me?
hurt me?
well....i dont care how,
i still want you,
and only you.
i still need you,
as i always will.
and i will always love you.
but,
do you care?

how can i feel
so alone when,
i am surrounded by a room
full of people?
or feel so empty,
when i am full of love?
but i am lonely,
and alone.
and full of hate.
i only fell full and alive when
i am with you.
everyone else is just
a piece of furniture,
only to add to my lonliness.
i am alone,i cry,i scream,and i suffocate
in all peoples anger and hate.
i am a nobody to people.
i hurt them,including myself.
but to you...i am me.
a person,a somebody.
a human,no alien.no freak.
simply agirl in your eyes.
to love and to feel.
i feel alone all the time,
the darkness takes me over.
it eats me and hides me away,
and away from you.
but you are my light,
and keep me alive when
i am not taken by the darkness.
but...
i am forever to be alone.

The plans we've made keep me awake with a smile that's hard to bare, your words keep me up with the same butterflies I had when they left your lips. 'I love you' puts mind body and soul at ease for the deepest of sleeps. Baby wont you tuck me in? So that I can awake from my dream of climbing trees with hearts instead of leaves.

`donT say you Love me unless you really mean it,cause i might do something crazy like believe it.`

I am in broken love,

Ten years ago you asked me to be your valentine..

now as i feel your
warm touch on my delicate skin,
i lay feeling only you.
thinking,seeing only you.
now as it rains
a sunnt day in hell,
you are gone,you left me.
where did u go?
what did i do wrong?
i miss you,
i cannot see you,for
it is too bright on this cold
winter night.
i dont feel your warmth,
beside me anymore.
i cant feel your gentle touch,
your breath on my neck.
where have you gone?
i need you,
i miss you.
i love you.
and i want you,
here with me,
to comfort me.
to hear your smooth voice in my ear.
this,
is the hell i live without you.
i lay feeling so numb,
of everything.
if you should,
come and make me feel again,
would you leave me in the
dark,like before?
i wish i could see you,
feel you.
i feel nothing as i lay
here on the wet grasses
of this cold,dark,oh so real
hell you let me live.
and when i have already died,
you came to realize...
i was your one,
the one you love.

i was blinded by you,
by your love.
i only saw you,your smile.
i saw only you.
i dreamt of only you.
i wanted only you.
and i loved only you.
and now i miss you more than ever.
you made me full and
alive again.
you awoke something in me,
i never knew existed.
love.the kind ive never felt with anyone.
the love i had for you,
blinded me.
i went into this with my heart,
not my head.
i never looked,
before i fell.
and i fell for you,hard.
and i look where i lay....
its cold,its hard, its real.
and it hurts.
you never caught me.
you let me fall,
my heart pulled by the strings.
i was blinded by you.
by your love.
i loved you with my whole heart.
but now i know,
you should always look
before you fall,because you never know
who wont catch you.

you were the one
who could always
make me laugh,or smile.
i love you so much,
i do.
but you have put me
through so much hell.
the lies,the heartache.
playing with my love,
my feelings for you.
my love has no limit.
you might as well have
just said that,
i wasnt good enough.
i wish you could feel
tha pain that i feel.
you lied to me by saying
you wanted to be with me forever.
when all you ever wanted,,
was to use me,
play me.
kill me.
bury me in hate,
and spit on it all.
but all i ever did was love you.
all i ever wanted  was you,
your love to love me.
and to be happy with you.
i could never see myself,
with anyone but you.
but you see we were not made
for each other.
that,
i see now.

why do you make me
cry like this?
is it funny?
does it make you laugh?
or does it hurt you,
as much as it does me?
i loved you.
i gave you everything.
i even trusted you.
so why did you break
me down
and make me cry?
i gave you all i had,
ieven gave my heart you.
only to have it torn,
and my love thrown away.
did it ever mean anything to you?
so why did you,
tell me you loved me
when it all was a lie?
or was it?
i would give you the world if i could.
you were all i ever wanted.
all i ever needed.
everything i could ask for.
but what am i,to you?
a toy?
your whore?
what?
babe,you were my everything.
so just why...i ask you?
why did you
do this to me?

Your love was a lie,after all this time
And when you told me forever,it made me cry.
What I thought we were never came to be,
My tears fill my eyes and it's so hard to see.
Should I even cry for you after what you've done?
Even though you've caused me pain and I'm so alone.
So rip my heart out and hear me scream,
Although I'm sure to you it doesn't mean a thing.
My heart bled for you,
and there was nothing I could do.
But I know you,and you don't care.
Tonight I'll end my pain,to this I swear.
I can't believe I loved you
but now I know we're through.
This is our last kiss,our last hug,our last goodbye.
I'm glad to know this whole fucking thing was a lie.

i know i was lousy,
and you were everything
for me and to me.
you gave me your all,
and i gave you my everything.
we loved,i cried.
you never saw.
you never meant to hurt me.
you said that loved me,
and i believed you.
i told you i loved you,
and  i meant it.
but did you?
i just dont know.
you did what you could to
make me happy.
it worked.
i am not hard to please.
but you are.
i tried and i failed.to make you happy.
the consequenses are bad.
i loved you with all i had.
im sorry i wasnt
good enough for you.
you are above me,better.
you deserve better i guess.
better than what you have,
and better than what i can give you.
but if what you do have just isnt good enough,
for you now,
the may you burn in hell.
maybe then,
youll think back,
to what you had and youll realize how
great it really was.

i swear to you,
you will never
find a girl who
loves you as much
as i love you.
who cares for you,
as much as i care about you.
who needs you,
as mmuch as i need you.
who needs you,
as much as i need you.
who would miss you,
as much as i miss you.
who would kiss you,
like i kiss you.
my heart screams for you,
beats for you,and loves
only for you.
i swear to you,
that you will never
find a girl quite like me.
who knowws you,
liike i know you.
knows things
that no one else knows.
that would never get mad at you.
that can always make you smile,
no matter what mood you or i are in.
who loves you unconditionally,
like i do.
i love everything about you.
on you and in you.
inside and out.
i love your personality,
the way you love me
i love your smile,your hands,your hair.
your eyes,your touch,the way you care.
i love it all,
i swear to you.

i am a girl possessed.
but only by love.
i am obsessed,with you.
i miss you,
every second of every day.
i think about you,
every minute,
that dare pass by.
i tremble when we are apart.
i scream,i cry and
i wait for you.
you do not come.
because you cant hear,
only because you dont listen.
i am obsessed with you.
i cannot be long,
without you.
you are my heroin.
i go through withdrawl.
i scream.icry,i tremble,more.
it does no good.
i need you.
i cannot lose you,for i will die.
i lost you once,
near death i came.
i dont think i could survive,
if i ever lost you,for good.
i need you,and i only wish
you needed me tha same ways,
in that i need you.
i need you to function,
to live,
to breathe even.
for i am,
obsessed with you.