My heart was beating so fast as if i can feel it jumping into my throat. That was the day! The day I was going to see my lost love, the one who captured my innocent heart all these years. It’s been two years but i can still feel the love, pain and remorse that lead my lachrymal gland to work (hehe). He was my first love ( swerte nya kaya saken :)) and the one who turned my world into a carousel of rainbow (naks!). "What I am going to do when i see him?" was the first thing i thought when we agreed to meet ( NOTE: I’m sooo in love with him thats why I was the one who asked him). I thought of confessing everything what i feel for him (I even prepared a speech); thought of hugging him and feel his lips once more (eww ang libog mo!) but thats a bad idea; i thought of acting like the way i "was" with him (feeling close naman) or act as plain ME ( wag na baka ma in love pa uli saken ang mokong =p) damn! i just don’t know what to do at that time. That was the chance to feel the warmth of his embrace, a chance to let him know i still feel for him, a chance to lock his fingers in my palm ( whew sweaty) a chance to see his smile ( kahit na false teeth =p) and a chance to have him even just for an hour (demanding).

I saw myself stePping in the familiar place we called lover’s nest (sa Catbalogan II po). the place gone wilted, rubbish and abandoned. theN suddenly i thought, could it be because we had separate lives now? (just a thought). i waLked slowly unto the bleachers where we used to find time for each other. crazy, i was seeing us sitting next to each other talkiNg bout sweet nothings. i could even see him doing that sweet gesture that sent shiver down my spine——- touching my lips (totoo). darn! i miss those times so much.. the crazy laughs we had, the bloopers weve made, the jokes weve cracked, the way we teased each other (intsik na kumakain ng gumamela!) and our first date (my cousin saw us, tinutukan pa ako ng flashlight masiguro lang na ako nakita nya =)).

BEEP! A text message from my beloved awaken me from reminiscing wonderful moments he shared with me. Whew! i felt my sweat came out and hands trembled OMG he was coming! i just sat quietly, looking nowhere and anticipated the next episode of my love life (ano movie???). Three minutes became one minute, one minute became three seconds and three seconds became——- “Hey there”. OMG Andyan na siya! I didn’t want to look at him because i was afraid to fall deeply in love with him again, but then i had no choice so I turned my head on him instead. Ola la! I saw the guy who took my heart away (correction di na nya po sinauli puso ko =(. Damn! he is soooo gwapo pa rin ( makalaglag _ _ _ _ _). i cant even speak because i was nervous. My heart was beating in an abnormal condition ( toinks!) Grrr!! I lost my ‘prepared speech’ when I felt his presence ( He took my sanity mind you).

okay.. okay.. enough lets go to the highlight of my story. so there it goes we talked (errr.. but the truth is i was shut off so xa lang salita ng salita. side comments lang mga nasabi ko) over his flings (duh?! wla na bang ibang topic?!) Pero kahit na mga babae nya topic namin at least i reached cloud nine at that time. Haayy I even heard Kim Chui sang CRAZY LOVE (hehe) then suddenly “tart kinagat ako ng langgam!”. waa i hate those ants. Grrr! they interrupted my day dreaming hmmp! talon ako ng talon kasi nga ung inupuan ko may bahay pala ng langgam (huhu). ang nakakainis pa, he did not even help me nor showed care. Duh?! as if he was not head over heels in love with me before hmmp! he just laughed so hard and said “kay anu kc dida kapa lumingkod? (tama ba naman un???) and he kept on asking me the time of my departure as if he wanted me to go na so i said “nOw na” (that was a lie! i wanna spend more time with him pa kaya lang prang ayaw na nya akong mkausap eh). so thats it he offered me a ride (hala shocked ako pati ba naman motorbike nya mukhang ipapatimbang na rin!) hinatid nya ako and alas! he left kahit di pa ako nakakaalis (huhu). haay buhay.. another oppurtunity passed me by. parang walang nangyari, parang hindi kami nagkita, parang hindi ako nasaktan sa ginawa nya, parang hindi ako kinagat ng mga hinayupak na langgam, parang wala lang..

PS: TART KAHIT HUMORUOS ANG ‘SANG TO I STILL WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IM STILL NOT OVER YOU AND I ALSO WANT TO THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME REALIZE THAT I CAN DO BETTER THAN BEFORE.. XOXO BUT IM TRYING TO WALK AWAY FROM THE LOVE THAT I LET GO 4 YEARS AGO..

 

1. What is the thinnest book in the world?
   "What Men Know About Women"
   
   
2. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
   Bonds mature
   
   
3. How do you save a man from drowning?
   Take your foot off his head
   
   
4. What do men and beer bottles have in common?
   They're both empty from the neck up
   
   
5. How can you tell if a man is happy?
   Who cares
   
   
6. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
   We don't know... it has never happened
   
   
7. What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
   Lifting his leg so you can vacuum
   
   
8. What's the difference between a man and E.T?
   E.T. phoned home
   
   
9. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
   A hot dog and a six pack of beer
   
   
10. What do you call a man with half a brain?
    Gifted !
    
    
11. What did God say after he created man?
    I can do better
    
    
12. What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
    1. No mind 2. No business
    
    
13. What do you call an intelligent man in America?
    A tourist
    
    
14. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal?
    He bronzed it
    
    
15. How do men sort their laundry?
    "Filthy" and "Filthy and wearable"
    
    
16. Only a man could buy a $400 car and put a $4000 stereo in it
    
    
17. Why did God create man?
    He needed to practice
    
    
18. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
    When the crew gets lost, at least she will ask for directions

 

• Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.
   
• Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without...but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
   
• My wife and I always compromise; I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
   
• It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.  
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
  
  
• First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
  
  
• Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.
  
  
• Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
  
  
• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
  
  
• A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!" The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
  
  
• A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish, too But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
  
  
• Two women friends meet on the street, but they haven't seen each other for years. As they are talking one women notices that her friend has a 5 carat diamond ring, and says "My what a magnificent ring." Her friend relies, "Yes, it is, but unfortunately it comes with a curse. It comes
  with my husband!"
  
  
• Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
  
  
• Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
  
  
• One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.
  
  
• Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
  
  
• I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
  
  
• A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
  
  
• I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
  
  
• We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
  
  
• Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  
  
• Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
  
  
• If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

A couple has two beautiful daughters. They also want to have a son and so they decide to get a third child.

Funny Valentine Day slogans.

Lovely faces of Hillary Clinton.

Positive proof of Global warming

Women Superiority
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.
Men's clothes make women look elfin and gorgeous. Men look like complete idiots in women's clothes.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
Taxi's stop for us.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.
If we're not making enough money we can blame it on the glass ceiling.
It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the male's Speedo.
We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost, at least she will ask for directions
It was the start of a new school year. Jamie, a young and attractive lady teacher, was teaching a primary four class. After a few months, she noticed that there was one particular boy Tommy who wasn’t doing well in his class tests.
One day after school, Jamie asked the underperforming boy to stay back so that she could find out more about his difficulties.
Teacher: "Tommy, I noticed you have been doing poorly in your class tests recently. Are you facing any difficulties at home or in school?"
Tommy: "Teacher, I've fallen in love with someone.”
Teacher: "With whom?"
Tommy: "With you."
Teacher: *looks surprised* "But Tommy, you’re only ten years old now. Our age gap is too wide. I don't want a child."
Tommy: "Oh, don't worry Teacher. I know how to use a condom!"

A husband, wife and their seven-year-old son walk into an ice-cream shop. The dad says "I'll have a chocolate cone, and my wife here will have a vanilla."

He then slaps his son on the back of the head and says: "What do you want, fat-head?"

The lady behind the counter, shocked, says, "Why did you call him that?"

"I'll tell you why," says the dad. "There's really only three things a man wants in life.
First, he wants a nice big truck. See that nice big truck parked outside? That's mine.
Second, he wants a nice big house. I have one of the biggest houses in town. Third, and most important, he wants a nice tight pussy and I had that too until fat-head here came along."

My favorite love joke: