My heart was beating so fast as if i can feel it jumping into my throat. That was the day! The day I was going to see my lost love, the one who captured my innocent heart all these years. It’s been two years but i can still feel the love, pain and remorse that lead my lachrymal gland to work (hehe). He was my first love ( swerte nya kaya saken :)) and the one who turned my world into a carousel of rainbow (naks!). "What I am going to do when i see him?" was the first thing i thought when we agreed to meet ( NOTE: I’m sooo in love with him thats why I was the one who asked him). I thought of confessing everything what i feel for him (I even prepared a speech); thought of hugging him and feel his lips once more (eww ang libog mo!) but thats a bad idea; i thought of acting like the way i "was" with him (feeling close naman) or act as plain ME ( wag na baka ma in love pa uli saken ang mokong =p) damn! i just don’t know what to do at that time. That was the chance to feel the warmth of his embrace, a chance to let him know i still feel for him, a chance to lock his fingers in my palm ( whew sweaty) a chance to see his smile ( kahit na false teeth =p) and a chance to have him even just for an hour (demanding).

I saw myself stePping in the familiar place we called lover’s nest (sa Catbalogan II po). the place gone wilted, rubbish and abandoned. theN suddenly i thought, could it be because we had separate lives now? (just a thought). i waLked slowly unto the bleachers where we used to find time for each other. crazy, i was seeing us sitting next to each other talkiNg bout sweet nothings. i could even see him doing that sweet gesture that sent shiver down my spine——- touching my lips (totoo). darn! i miss those times so much.. the crazy laughs we had, the bloopers weve made, the jokes weve cracked, the way we teased each other (intsik na kumakain ng gumamela!) and our first date (my cousin saw us, tinutukan pa ako ng flashlight masiguro lang na ako nakita nya =)).

BEEP! A text message from my beloved awaken me from reminiscing wonderful moments he shared with me. Whew! i felt my sweat came out and hands trembled OMG he was coming! i just sat quietly, looking nowhere and anticipated the next episode of my love life (ano movie???). Three minutes became one minute, one minute became three seconds and three seconds became——- “Hey there”. OMG Andyan na siya! I didn’t want to look at him because i was afraid to fall deeply in love with him again, but then i had no choice so I turned my head on him instead. Ola la! I saw the guy who took my heart away (correction di na nya po sinauli puso ko =(. Damn! he is soooo gwapo pa rin ( makalaglag _ _ _ _ _). i cant even speak because i was nervous. My heart was beating in an abnormal condition ( toinks!) Grrr!! I lost my ‘prepared speech’ when I felt his presence ( He took my sanity mind you).

okay.. okay.. enough lets go to the highlight of my story. so there it goes we talked (errr.. but the truth is i was shut off so xa lang salita ng salita. side comments lang mga nasabi ko) over his flings (duh?! wla na bang ibang topic?!) Pero kahit na mga babae nya topic namin at least i reached cloud nine at that time. Haayy I even heard Kim Chui sang CRAZY LOVE (hehe) then suddenly “tart kinagat ako ng langgam!”. waa i hate those ants. Grrr! they interrupted my day dreaming hmmp! talon ako ng talon kasi nga ung inupuan ko may bahay pala ng langgam (huhu). ang nakakainis pa, he did not even help me nor showed care. Duh?! as if he was not head over heels in love with me before hmmp! he just laughed so hard and said “kay anu kc dida kapa lumingkod? (tama ba naman un???) and he kept on asking me the time of my departure as if he wanted me to go na so i said “nOw na” (that was a lie! i wanna spend more time with him pa kaya lang prang ayaw na nya akong mkausap eh). so thats it he offered me a ride (hala shocked ako pati ba naman motorbike nya mukhang ipapatimbang na rin!) hinatid nya ako and alas! he left kahit di pa ako nakakaalis (huhu). haay buhay.. another oppurtunity passed me by. parang walang nangyari, parang hindi kami nagkita, parang hindi ako nasaktan sa ginawa nya, parang hindi ako kinagat ng mga hinayupak na langgam, parang wala lang..

PS: TART KAHIT HUMORUOS ANG ‘SANG TO I STILL WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IM STILL NOT OVER YOU AND I ALSO WANT TO THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME REALIZE THAT I CAN DO BETTER THAN BEFORE.. XOXO BUT IM TRYING TO WALK AWAY FROM THE LOVE THAT I LET GO 4 YEARS AGO..

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written by catsandpussy, October 30, 2010

nakakarelate ako dto sis kaya lang ung gusto kong guy ayaw na niang makipagkita huhuhu at ang nakakainis pa dun nakikipagflirt pa cia saken sa messenger haay pinaasa pa ako masakit pala mabasted huhuhu

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