So i've been knowing this guy james for about 5 years we've been good friends for that while.  I met him in highschool the first time and it was just kind of a wierd meeting because he was just staring at me and i was like who is this dude staring at me and i never really got his name but then a couple weeks go by and he's in my class i get to know him and his name and that he is friends with this guy i kind of had a crush on named bob and at this time im young im dumb and a big flirt so basically i want him to hook me with his friend.   So i start hanging it out with james more to get closer to bob.  Now james is a funny smart sweet guy and he is fun to be around while trying to get closer to bob im spending time with james and im having more fun with james then i would with bob.  I would play around in his room put on his clothes do fashion shoes, clean his room just good fun and funny memories.   A little time goes by and im now in a relationship with bob im happy cause im still having fun and now im hanging out with james and bob together because their friends and were just all friends happy having a good times and all that but somewhere in there me and james start an emotional relationship and we have these feeling for each other that we both decide we can't act on because he's friends with bob and im bobs girlfriend.  Now bob and james's relationship was mostly based on me or at least thats what i believe because james got so close to bob because he was trying to hook me up with him and some other business factors so thats just a little fact you should know. Anyways so now me and james have feelings for each other i learn that at one point james was in love with me he liked me a lot probably wanted to be with me but i wanted bob and wasn't really paying him any attention in that way and now i feel like a fool cause suddenly im feeling like maybe i should have been paying james a little more attention.  So years go by me and james have pent up feelings me and bob are in a steady relationship kinda too steady more like marriage and yet were still having fun as long as were with friends being young you know that whole thing.  But we soon start to grow up we all start hitting 18 19 20 and james gets into a relationship with my help i might add so now james is in a relationship with angela and they are happy cute and have great sex together.  Now me and bob are together and a lot older and we are living like were married so much that we even have a son together.  Now the nine months that i was pregnant i was in love with bob i spent and enjoyed my time with him and my feeling for james had supsided i wasn't really paying him any attention and he was in a relationship with angela they were doing there thing and i was big and pregnant and fat whatever anyways so i have my son and he's wonderful me and bob spend are first year parenting together and slowly it just starts to become life and i see myself somewhere different somewhere not with bob and i've always kind of had that feeling but its become a lot more strong over the years.  So i'm kinda feeling stuck now with bob i have a son with him and everyone is asking us when were  getting married that type of thing and i just don't see us moving forward that way and being happy about it the way i should be if i were to do that. So im in a bad place with love looking for someone to save me and along comes james one night were all hanging out as friends me james angela and bob and me and james are the last ones left awake and we head outside to go hang out and listen to music in the car now we have always had emotional feelings but we never really acted on them we talked about them and put them in there place.  So slowly but surely after talking about how are relationships are a little messed up he's telling me angela is abusive im telling him im not completely happy with bob things become physical and we have sex for the first time and on the day that, that crazy priest dude said the world was gonna end i might add may 21 2011 me and james had sex for the first time and it was the best sex i had ever had now i haven't slept with many people the person who took my virginity and bob that was it so its not long omg he's a sex god but its like he's my sex god shit and bob really never hit the spot for me but on some real shit james did and it was great so after this little adventure we some how agree that this was just sex and we can't act on anything else and im just like ok yeah whatever i know.  But the next morning im confused im lost im ok but not ok idk i wanna have sex with james again i want him simple as that but somewhere there is still control telling me no you can't be realsitic so i simmer down and take it easy but as time goes by when were hanging out james is telling me that he wants more so eventually it happens again and again in my bathroom, in his bed, in his couch and might i add his couch and his bed is also

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